And it all goes BOOM!

Well....shit really hit the fan today.  My parents decided that they needed to protect me and decided that David had to leave immediatly.  It got realy ugly for a bit then everything ended peacefully...well, as peacefully as it can be.  Now he's goin on Facebook saying it's the same things as 7 years ago and it's not.  And he's leading people to believe that it was just because I didn't want to work at the relationship.  Never mind that he hasn't done hardly anything around the house since he moved in.  He hasn't had a job.  He hasn't contributed to any of the bills except one single time and even then it wasn't near equilivant of the amount of resources he's used since he got here.  I have been unable to work on my art or even use my own computer because he's too busy dicking around on the internet.  I haven't eaten in 5 days, haven't slept more than a couple hours every couple days in 2 weeks.  I've been so miserable I've actually considered the fact that it would be eaiser on myself (not anyone else) if I were dead.  I should be able to have a decent life without having these feelings hovering over my head.  I have done my best to be civil (after a couple of initial outbursts).  I have kept myself calm and like a stone when I had to deal with him face to face.  All he has left here is his stupid tv and maybe some clothes he missed.   I'll have to go through the room this week and box everything up.  Gonna have to make sure I keep the truck and the front door locked at all times now.  Front foor no problem....truck a bit of a problem...I never remember to lock the thing.  Well, I guess that's about all I have to say for now....I hope I can find a way to get some sleep tonight.  I'm so damn tired....

Kay

I have nerves of steel...and they're poking me to death...

So....it looks like it's going to be an eventful day.  I have to get the living room and kitchen cleaned up before Keith and his mom and brother get here.  She says she misses the boys and wants to see them and his brother is suposed to be looking at the sump pump issue since he's part of the plumber's union.  After I get the rooms clean, I'm planning on going down to the tattoo shop and seeing if I can wrangle an apprenticeship.  I hope this works otherwise there go all my leads.  This is the first hopeful I've had since I started looking.  Of course this all hinges on my ability to actually walk into the shop and start speaking rather than turning tail and running back to my truck as fast as I can.  With the shaking I've been having the past couple weeks, if I can't calm myself down by the time i get there then they'll just take one look at my hands and say "We're sorry, but you shake too much to be a proper tattoo artist." It hasn't interfeared with my work so far...hell, the vibration of the tattoo gun counters the normal shaking of my hand.  So now i just gotta beat the constant sick feeling.  Who know....maybe if I get the apprenticeship I'll start feeling a little better.  That would be nice. 

The shop opens at noon, so here i go to clean and then hopefully to land my apprenticeship.

Kay

Feelin a Bit Better

Wow, so suprisingly I actually feel quite a bit better this morning after my 3am rant.  Guess it was a good idea after all.  Physically not so much, but at least I don't feel near as depressed.  Deffinatly still "blah" but it's a start.

Allison came over today to pick up Nick's old tv.  He's in India right now so it's not much use to him but his mom can keep it till he gets back.  Oh well.  One less thing of his cluttering up my life.  The kids seem to be enjoying their newly seperated rooms.  Wonder how many days will pass before Eddie sneaks into Patrick's bed cause he's lonely or scared.  It's rather cute. 

and speaking of cute...David just showed me an adorable video of a fox that I think I'll post ;)